Change....but how?

  I'm often asked about change....how to do it...even in the face of seemingly overwhelming obstacles.

Well, first off, I can tell you, that most likely, it's not going to be easy. Whether you've been to a therapist in the past or not...anyone who has told you that it's EASY is simply not giving you the whole truth! Change hurts. Change is uncomfortable. Change can take time.

But it can be done!

Of course...the only person, and I mean the ONLY person you can change is YOURSELF! You have influence over your OWN situation but you will never be able to change anyone else. Please, save yourself the time thinking "but if...." because it's not going to happen. You may want a family member, boyfriend, girlfriend, child, boss....someone to change...and that's okay, just know that you aren't holding the magic wand to make it so.

Also, I don't have a magic wand either; I wish I did, but I don't.

Change happens first when you have a true desire to make it happen..no ambivalence here...you really are seeking to alter something in your life.

Next you you need to look at any faulty thoughts you've been carrying around that have hindered you from moving forward. By faulty thoughts I mean those self-talk, often deeply ingrained statements that simply aren't true about you: "I'll never amount to anything; No one could ever love me; I can't lose weight no matter how hard I try...." You get the idea.

Here's the transformation part....you address those faulty thoughts and look at them from a different point of view. Go from "No one could ever love me" to "I don't have anyone in my life right now to love."  Think "losing weight has been challenging" instead of "I can't lose weight."  I'm not asking you to create fairy tale statements...just look at your situation from a more objective, truthful point of view.

Next...set your thoughts to where you want to be...your goal statement, if you will.
"No one could ever love me" to "Right now I don't have a life partner" to "I'm going to put myself out there and look for someone that is right for me."
"I can't lose weight" to "loosing weight has been challenging" to "I'm going to exercise no less than 20 minutes each day and keep a food journal."

Change is an active process. It involves time, energy, and determination.

It can be done.

So, if you have some faulty thoughts floating around your mind and need some help reframing them...just send them to me and I'd be happy to help you look at your statements from a different perspective.