You are dying

Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. ~Charles Richards

You are going to die.

We all are; though most of us spend our lives pretending that we will live forever.

Stop kicking happiness down the road.

Stop putting off that dream vacation.

Stop letting fear hold you back.

Just stop.

Regret is a much bigger monster to face than fear.

Tell someone you love him. Isn’t it a beautiful thing to be loved?

Eat the last bite of cake. Walk an extra 20 minutes to burn the calories if you must.

Train for an event you never think you’ll finish.

I have friends waiting to live.

I have clients with end-of-life timelines who realize that life is too short.

Embrace your now with intensity and purpose.

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older. ~Larry McMurtry, Some Can Whistle

L

I'm not afraid of the water

I’m not afraid of the water

At the age of 3 my mother would wake me up at 6am so we could have our toes in the sand during peak sun hours.

For 6 years I lived on a Mediterranean island; the azure waters my delight.

I love to splash my feet along the water’s edge.

Nature’s symphony and duality of lapping water and crashing waves is mesmerizing. 

I live within a two-mile jog of the Oceanfront and bask in gritty air and salt-licked skin.

But ask anyone who participates with me in ocean-involved endurance events and you will hear a different perspective.

Yes – I’m the girl frantically galloping to dry land in hopes of escaping the looming arched form from taking me prisoner. (Only to be sent back in).

I’m not afraid of the water. I’m terrified of the angry surf so powerful a 250lb man is thrust to his knees.

I was not always like this.

Ocean waves represent a powerful, unyielding force that can hold one captive for an immeasurable length of time. The push and pull is unpredictable and relentless. Lack of air. Fear.

Displacement.

Fear of waves (and I refer to Ocean City size waves) is relatively new.

I understand the trigger.

I’m determined to overcome it.

And that’s why I subject myself to event after event where I must face my demons sandy-faced and determined.

We all have a process. Everyone is unique in learning to accept or overcome deep fears, regret, guilt, anger, etc.

The most important part of the process is that you don’t have to be alone. When I stand in 8ft waves stifling screams and epithets I am surrounded by a team of supporters: my physical anchors and my emotional cheerleaders.

I love my job because I am afforded the opportunity to be your anchor. I am no magician and I cannot make the past disappear.

I can provide tools and empathy and validation to assist you in facing the darkness.

You are never alone.

I am not afraid of the water. I’ve been afraid of what it represents.

L

The girl who doesn't need anyone

What to Expect When You Fall for the Girl Who's Used to Never Needing Anyone

By Anna Bashedly

This one is going to be different. I can promise you that. But I can also promise that you won’t ever be uninspired or bored - this is the girl who will change you, she won’t ever take your shit, and you’ll be a better man because of it.

She comes across as a paradoxical mix of outgoing but introverted, very social but seldomly out. When you’re so used to not needing anyone, you know exactly who you are, and she’ll never fake anything because of it. This makes maintaining relationships a constant struggle for her. She’ll connect with many, and they’ll quickly feel comfortable with her, but it takes her a while to feel fully comfortable, so she can only take being around others incrementally.


This might frustrate you. There seem to be so many walls to break down. Just when you start to feel like you’re figuring her out - you find another piece to the puzzle that throws everything off. Be patient. She’s this tough because she had to be. Something happened that taught her to never need anyone. Someone she needed left before she was done needing them. But none of this will spill out easily. She’s extremely uncomfortable with other people seeing her vulnerable or in pain. Her emotions and pain are hers, and this is what she’s used to.

She’ll tell herself she doesn’t need you. She’ll make situations worse by trying to suppress her feelings about them. When you fall for the girl who’s used to not needing anyone, believe that she has more feelings and layers than she knows what to do with. Her instinct will be to try to compose herself. When she does open up to you, it’s everything. Being emotionally naked with someone is how she expresses her love.


She’ll know exactly who she is and what she wants. When you’re used to not needing anyone, you do what you want, when you want, and without asking permission or informing anyone. She loves this part of her identity, but she secretly wants you to confront her. She’s hoping that sometimes, you’ll put your foot down, and challenge her stubborn ways.

She’s strong, maybe even too strong for you at first. Don’t let this fool you. This is her outer shell. Her armor. She is so used to taking care of herself that it's going to be hard for her to let someone else in. It took a lot of work to get to where she is: Independent, taking no shit and being happy on her own. She's afraid to let you in because she's afraid of what will happen if you might leave.


I can promise you it won’t be easy, she’ll hang on to her walls for as long as she can. She will be enigmatic. She will always want things her way, and she’ll fight you when she doesn’t get it.

She’ll even try to push you away. This is how she protects herself.

But when you really get to know her, she’ll be the girl who will change your life. Don’t always give in to her, but be patient with her. She’s strong, but she’s also scared - scared of love, scared of needing someone, and definitely scared of you.

Because even if she says she doesn’t need you, at her core she is just a girl who has more love than she knows what to do with.