Bliss in 22 Days

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“What do you want?”

Emphasis on the want. 

Every new client hears this question during our first meeting. I usually toss my query after hearing the subtext behind actions, and behaviors, and rarely feelings.

Wants. Desires.

We all have them.

Spoiler Alert: 90% of my clients say that want to be happy.

What will make you happy?

Is it getting that promotion you’ve been yearning for? Is it the high-powered vehicle cloaked in your garage? Is it losing those last five pounds?

Yes. Yes, because you’re successful when you’ve reached your goals…you’re happy you have a new promotion so that you can take that Tahitian vacation or pay off your high balance/high percentage school loans…you’re overjoyed as your shiny ponytail whips in the wind during an afternoon convertible drive zooming on desolate roads. . .you’re giddy you can finally fit into your 7-16 denim skinny jeans.

Are these fleeting experiences enough to feel happy?

Happiness…is it experienced intrinsically or extrinsically?

Psychologists have long toyed with the definition and interpretation of the word ‘happy.’  Finding your inner gaiety does not need to be laborious or far-reaching. You just need to change your brain.

Yes. Change it.

Throw out the concept of ‘positive thinking’ and embrace ‘realistic thinking.’  Express gratitude. Maybe you don’t have a glossy Red Monster of gas guzzling endorphins on four wheels parked in your driveway, but you do have a reliable mode of transportation to get you where you need to be. Maybe those over-priced denims are still hanging in the back of your closet, but you do have clothes that fit, are clean and are comfortable.

Yes, I realize I’m presenting you with a ridiculous scale of comparison, but the truth is that ‘happy’ can only be found from within you. Not somebody bringing you flowers, and not the layers of shoes stacked in your closet.

Wants. Desires.

I believe success lies in being happy. Happy with who you are and happy with what you have.

Finding your happy is a process; it’s a journey.

Happiness is perspective, reality and gratitude.

Don't wait to be happy. Don't try to find it in another person.

Happiness is a choice; it can only come from you. 

My journaling workbook will take you through a 22 day process to help you find your joy.

Always finding my happy,

Lesa

Self-Care

Perfectionism, self-love, self-nurturance, pressure, self-care.

How often does your focus shift from self-care to self-aloofness?

Too often I see women who should ease up on the pressure to be perfect, the pressure to take care of everyone and everything and forget about the importance of self-nurturing and self-love.

Self-nurturing means more than getting your nails done or ordering a pizza on a Friday night – it’s a path back to your heart.

* Self-care is not optional.

                Running yourself ragged for too long cannot only lead to overeating and symptoms of depression, but it can affect your adrenals creating a problematic health path you don’t want to walk.

*Stay away from drama.

                You get what you put out. If you act in a way that is positive and  {with} minimal drama, you attract the same kind of positive situations and people. ~April Myers

If someone repeatedly comes to you with catastrophes, give yourself a window of time for listening and then take care of your own needs by walking away.

 *Self-care can take minutes

                It’s a myth that you need to spend an entire day pampering yourself.  If you have that mindset then you are likely to  think that you never have time for self-nurturing. Just three minutes before bed to breathe deeply and sit quietly will reap wonderful benefits.

*Self-care is affordable

              An expensive vacation or day spa package is not necessary.   A walk through the park, an Epsom salt bath, or 10 minutes of stretching can go a long way to refresh your body and mind.

*You have the right to practice self-care

                Taking care of everyone and everything else is not a prequesite to taking care of yourself. Self-care gives you the energy and nourishment needed to accomplish greatness.

*Self-care does not mean choosing  between yourself and others.

When you are not taking care of yourself you can end up in a cycle of deprivation leading to  frustration and fatigue. Put your oxygen mask on first before helping those next to you!

L

6 ways to reconnect with your most powerful self

BY AMANDA CHRISTIANBetween all the tasks, people and activities competing for our attention every day, it’s so easy to get lost in the routine and lose touch of our most powerful, loving selves. Before we know it, we’re acting out of habit or are glued to the computer. The following are some ways I get real, and come back to myself:

1. Spend time alone.

Spend time alone with no social media or cell phone. Gasp! Most of us are connected all the time, and it's very easy to get out of touch with how we feel. It’s so important to spend time with yourself every day in order to recharge your self-love battery and come back to the awareness of the loveliness all around you in this moment. 

2. Feel your feelings.

There is nothing “spiritual,” positive or holy about hiding your feelings and pretending you are happy when you’re not. This doesn't mean that you need to act on all your feelings; instead, be honest with yourself about what you're feeling so that it can move through you and be released. You become more real by becoming more honest. 

3. Journal.

Becoming more honest with yourself might bring up some feelings about your past that need to be released. Write them down. My journal is a mess of misspelled words, run-on sentences, unfinished poems, weird doodles and the occasional “ah-ha” moment circled with stars and exclamation points. There are no rules. Just let the feelings and ideas out!  

4. Spend time in nature.

Mother nature is my best friend. No joke. Whenever I'm feeling a little funky, usually from too much computer time, I throw on my sneakers and head out to the woods for a little forest therapy. Deeply breathe in the fresh air, hug a tree, smile and remember all the love you have in your life right now. 

5. Release the need for external validation.

Most of us are motivated to do and say things based on the way we think others are going to respond. This isn't good or bad, but it’s meaningless. You can’t control or predict how other people feel or react. Go with your gut. Set the intention for peace. When you act from a place of authenticity, likability will follow. I promise.

6. Claim your power.

Don’t be afraid of outshining others. As Marianne Williamson said, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” Don’t be afraid to go after your passions and let yourself shine.

Now that you’ve just spent time reading how to be more true to yourself, how can you apply these ideas? It’s in the application of the ideas that you will experience the change. Today I challenge you to do at least one of the things above.

Want an idea? How about ditching the cell phone and venturing out for a walk by yourself? Bring your journal to write out your feelings, sit under a tree and bliss out. That’s the makings of one delightful authentic connection with my most powerful loving self if you ask me! Soak it in.