I'm not afraid of the water

I’m not afraid of the water

At the age of 3 my mother would wake me up at 6am so we could have our toes in the sand during peak sun hours.

For 6 years I lived on a Mediterranean island; the azure waters my delight.

I love to splash my feet along the water’s edge.

Nature’s symphony and duality of lapping water and crashing waves is mesmerizing. 

I live within a two-mile jog of the Oceanfront and bask in gritty air and salt-licked skin.

But ask anyone who participates with me in ocean-involved endurance events and you will hear a different perspective.

Yes – I’m the girl frantically galloping to dry land in hopes of escaping the looming arched form from taking me prisoner. (Only to be sent back in).

I’m not afraid of the water. I’m terrified of the angry surf so powerful a 250lb man is thrust to his knees.

I was not always like this.

Ocean waves represent a powerful, unyielding force that can hold one captive for an immeasurable length of time. The push and pull is unpredictable and relentless. Lack of air. Fear.

Displacement.

Fear of waves (and I refer to Ocean City size waves) is relatively new.

I understand the trigger.

I’m determined to overcome it.

And that’s why I subject myself to event after event where I must face my demons sandy-faced and determined.

We all have a process. Everyone is unique in learning to accept or overcome deep fears, regret, guilt, anger, etc.

The most important part of the process is that you don’t have to be alone. When I stand in 8ft waves stifling screams and epithets I am surrounded by a team of supporters: my physical anchors and my emotional cheerleaders.

I love my job because I am afforded the opportunity to be your anchor. I am no magician and I cannot make the past disappear.

I can provide tools and empathy and validation to assist you in facing the darkness.

You are never alone.

I am not afraid of the water. I’ve been afraid of what it represents.

L

What You Seek is Seeking You!

BY EMILY FLETCHER

Do you know the difference between a goal and a desire? 

A desire is something that feels bubbly and exciting when you think about it. As in, Oh, having that would kick so much a#%!!! 

A goal is the "I have to" version of desire. A goal is, I have to lose 10 pounds this year. 

A desire to feel sexy can quickly turn into a goal of losing ten pounds. As much as we can, we want to keep ourselves in that sweet space of desire because when we start to feel the vibrational quality of our desire, we start to call it into our lives. Rumi says it best:  

"What you seek is seeking you."

I love this so much! First of all, it’s true. And also: it’s more fun to believe that what you seek is seeking you. Your desires are divinely inspired.  You wouldn’t have had the desire in the first place if nature didn’t put it there.  But how do we loosen the death grip on our goals?

Meditation can help. Once we start getting to the chair (aka meditating every day), we stop being under the illusion that happiness lies on the other side of any one desire coming to fruition. We start to access bliss on a visceral level every day (preferably twice a day). Then our desires become Nature’s way of using us as a fulfillment delivery vehicle. 

Once you start meditating, you develop an all-access pass to bliss and fulfillment in the only place that it actually resides (inside you), then you're able to use your desires as Nature’s GPS, telling you how and where to deliver your goods.  

So, how do we apply this? 

The first step is to ask yourself: What do I WANT to do? 

Then, instead of turning it into a goal (thinking I HAVE to do this), which will cause the fun, bubbly feeling to dissipate, we want to keep ourselves in the realm of desire by consciously reminding ourselves that what we seek is also seeking us.

PS: This doesn’t mean sit around and wait for your dreams to land on your doorstep. You have to take inspired action. This is simply an important reminder that your happiness does not lie on the other side of a job, a boyfriend, or a proposal. Your happiness exists RIGHT NOW, inside of you. 

The paradoxical thing that starts to happen is the more you practice this, the easier it is for your desires to find you. Probably because taking the pressure off each individual event or thing allows you to stop panicking long enough to see your desires and opportunities when they arrive.  

So, what do you think is seeking you?