If you are beginning a relationship, below are some simple
questions to ask yourself in determining if you are with the perfect person for
you (because there is no perfect person!). If you are already in a relationship
or married – don’t despair. If you answer “no” to any of the questions it
doesn’t mean that all hope is lost…it just means that you have to work a little
harder to build a strong relationship that is perfect for you.
The first question to ask is:
Do we have the same goals?
And by having the same goals I don’t mean, “we both want a
really big house on the water.” It’s not
important what your house looks like on the outside – it’s how it feels on the inside. Is your home filled
with love, respect, trust, laughter, etc.
Don’t think, “We want to make a lot of money.” Of course
that would be nice… instead, what goals do you want to meet by having a lot of
money? Is there a charity you want to support?
Having goals in common is helpful in determining your common
passions.
The second question to ask is:
Am I physically attracted to my partner?
We all know that we are initially drawn to someone we find
physically attractive. We also keep those fires burning and those passions
ignited by maintaining a level of attractiveness to our partners.
Ladies, do you dress for work or look your best when going
out with your friends? Do you find yourself coming home to slip on yoga pants
and pull your hair up into a ponytail? Remember what you looked like when you
attracted your man. Chances are you had on makeup, a coifed hairdo and a recent
pedicure. Don’t forget…he’s exposed to
women during the day who are GOING OUT and looking their best…not women dressed
for lounging around comfy on the sofa.
Gentleman, the same goes for you. When was your last shower?
Did you shave this past weekend? Were you wearing cologne when you met your
partner? Men, your woman is out seeing me who are looking their best! Don’t
throw on the t-shirt from yesterday after giving it a quick sniff test…put on a
clean shirt and present yourself to your partner like you did when you first
met.
The third question is different for men and for women.
For women, the question is “Do you respect him?” It is a big
deal for a man to have his partner respect him. A man needs to be respected and
wants to be loved.
I often equate ‘respect’ with putting your partner first.
Log off Facebook and talk to your husband when he comes home from work. Show
him you care and honor him.
A woman needs to be loved and wants to be respected.
The question for men
is, “Will you be happy making her happy for the rest of her life?”
A man’s job in a relationship is to make his partner happy.
Men are doers. Typically they like to have a job.
Ladies, help him to make you happy and do so in a way that
builds him and doesn’t confuse or burden him. If you need help around the house
– suggest ways for him to help you. If you’d like perfume for your birthday
steer him away from buying you a new vacuum cleaner. Work together to create
and sustain happiness in a relationship.
Very simple questions that require very simple answers.
The execution requires effort.
If you have found the perfect person for you – then let that
person know how perfect s/he is!
If you aren’t sure your person is perfect for you then think
about the ways to work together to make your relationship work.
If you have recently started dating and you’ve answered “no”
to any of the questions, then re-evaluate your choice and consider that perhaps
this person is not perfect for you…remembering there is no perfect person.
