Friday, November 11, 2011

11-11-11


There is so much hype surrounding today’s date!

Today many new-age-spiritual-cosmic individuals are touting this “powerful & magical numerical sequence” which is said to serve as a visual reminder for you to activate and align your spiritual vibration with higher consciousness.

I don’t believe that today’s date, in itself, is specifically correlated to anything other than a date on a calendar, but I do support the belief that we can manifest our true desires and are able to raise our spiritual vibrations.

 If seeing  the number 11 serves as a helpful reminder to consciously heighten  awareness of your Divine creator and encourage you to exercise your spiritual muscles ….then ….say it, repeat it, draw it, shout it…..may the frequencies be with you.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Getting High with Digital Drugs

A friend recently shared an article addressing the relationship between sound and mood. I know that I amp the tunes at the gym, or slip in a Carlos Takai CD when I want to relax. The question is can sound get you high? (As in smoking marijuana)

Did that raise your eyebrows? Apparently there are quite a number of websites claiming that a specific sound can make someone actually feel as if he has taken drugs.  These digital drugs also referred to as “i-dosing” or “sonic drugs” work with binaural beats. Binaural beats occur when you listen to the playing of two different sounds with similar frequencies …one in each ear. It doesn’t really sound like music…but of like static noise.

It doesn’t seem like listening to these coherent sounds could prove harmful – especially if one gets the effects of taking prescription drugs or hallucinogens. However, messing around with your brainwaves is not recommended! Dr. Daniel Amen, of the Amen Clinic, stresses that every brain will respond differently to this kind of stimulus and the reaction could be dangerous. In fact, adolescents and teens are at a higher risk because their brains are not fully developed and any stimulus purposely used to affect the brain could disrupt brain development.

I am a huge proponent of EEG Biofeedback – training the brain to produce a desired outcome. There are legitimate and clinically based uses of sound therapy to treat anxiety, depression and to improve peak performance. Here comes the “but”…. BUT trying to mimic the “neurochemical effects of a narcotic” is definitely something that needs to be approached cautiously.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Out of control anxiety


 November 6, 2011


Today, I seriously got really worried about my background check at work or that my boss has died cause he didn’t send out schedule yet. I check my email every hour today and nothing came. He said that he was going to send it out today like he said and still nothing. So I’m assuming that something went wrong with my background check or that he died unexpectedly and I don’t have a job anymore–now I’m worried that my boss is dead. And i now about to look at the obituaries in the newspapers to see if his name shows up. Of course, i bought this up to my mom and my friend and they got frustrated and said that I was full of ****. I almost left my best friend today cause i thought it wouldn’t b fair for him to deal with a stupid and crazy person like me–he says sincerely he accepts me for who I am and that his life would suck without me, so that made me feel better. Am I just being way too paranoid and worried about things lately? I sometimes just lose touch with what’s real and what’s irrational? Any advice appreciated?  Btw, I am on medication and counseling didn’t do much 4 me


Dear Worried & Anxious,


As I started reading through your entry I had to wonder if you were on anti-anxiety medication…which when I got to the end I see you are.  I’m guessing it’s not working for you (stating the obvious) and perhaps you need to go back to your physician to get your dosage tweaked.
Not that I’m a huge support of medication treatment, but I do recognize that it can be helpful while people are working through their issues.
I’m sure you’ve heard countless time about relaxation techniques (deep breathing, visualization, etc.) and I’m guessing that these haven’t been very helpful either.
When I’m working with a client I’m always looking for the underlying issue that creates emotional symptoms – which in your case is anxiety. I’d be interested in tracking your anxiety experiences and seeing where it all began. Looking at the things that bothered you today I can’t help but see a theme of situations that are out of your control: background check interpretation and your schedule. As I’ve mentioned before: Control and Fear are two sides of the same coin. Lack of control=fear. Fear=not being in control.
What does it mean to you to not be in control of a situation? What is the worst possible thing that could happen?
If you started exploring your anxiety by answering these questions I have a feeling that you would be able to get a handle on the anxiety.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

6 Facts about Transpersonal Psychology

Did you ever take a Transpersonal Psychology class in school? Chances are the answer is "no." But if you're like me...you may have had the opportunity to explore this area post undergrad.

Here's an article by  Margarita Tartakovsky associate editor at Psych Central.

I don’t remember learning about transpersonal psychology in my clinical psych program. (With all that reading and lack of sleep, it’s also possible I just missed that lesson.) So I was intrigued when I recently came across the term, and decided to do some digging.
In the Foreword of The Textbook of Transpersonal Psychiatry and Psychology, writer Ken Wilber defines “transpersonal” as “personal plus.” He explains that transpersonal work integrates both personal psychology and psychiatry but then “adds those deeper or higher aspects of human experience that transcend the ordinary and the average—experiences that are, in other words, ‘transpersonal’ or ‘more than personal,’ personal plus.”
It turns out that transpersonal psychology focuses on the spiritual. Bruce W. Scotton, M.D., one of the editors of the book, describes “spiritual” as “the realm of the human spirit, that part of humanity that is not limited to bodily experience.”
The British Psychological Society also acknowledges the central emphasis on spirituality in transpersonal psychology:
Transpersonal Psychology might loosely be called the psychology of spirituality and of those areas of the human mind which search for higher meanings in life, and which move beyond the limited boundaries of the ego to access an enhanced capacity for wisdom, creativity, unconditional love and compassion. It honors the existence of transpersonal experiences, and is concerned with their meaning for the individual and with their effect upon behavior.
According to the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology (which is a private graduate school founded in 1975):
Traditional psychology is interested in a continuum of human experience and behavior ranging from severe dysfunction, mental and emotional illness at one end, to what is generally considered “normal”, healthy behavior at the other end and various degrees of normal and maladjustment in between. While an exact definition of Transpersonal Psychology is the subject of debate, Transpersonal Psychology is a full spectrum psychology that encompasses all of this and then goes beyond it by adding a serious scholarly interest in the immanent and transcendent dimensions of human experience: exceptional human functioning, experiences, performances and achievements, true genius, the nature and meaning of deep religious and mystical experiences, non-ordinary states of consciousness, and how we might foster the fulfillment of our highest potentials as human beings.
Transpersonal psychology combines a variety of approaches in psychology, including behaviorism, cognitive psychology and humanistic psychology, along with other disciplines, including Eastern and Western philosophy, mysticism, mindfulness and the world’s religions.
Below are six other facts about transpersonal psychology, from the therapist’s role in psychotherapy to transpersonal psychology’s history as a field.
1. Transpersonal psychology doesn’t have specific tools or methods.
“Transpersonal psychotherapy is rooted in an ideology and a basic humility that operates behind the scenes,” said psychotherapist, author and teacher Jeffrey Sumber. “It is less about a particular tool or methodology and more about an intention that motivates the intervention,” he said.
2. Relationships in transpersonal psychology are key.
According to Sumber, “Transpersonal Psychology is an approach to understanding the way our minds operate through our relationships with others, resting in the belief that there is something bigger and deeper in the space between which operates upon us.”
The relationship between client and therapist is just as important as the client’s other relationships. “… The space between therapist and client is as sacred and transformative as that space between the client and their issues, their families and friends, etc.,” he said.
And both people change as a result of this relationship. As Sumber writes on his website, “…in order for positive change to occur for the client, it must also occur for the therapist on some level, by and through the bonds of our relationship.”
3. The therapist isn’t viewed as the expert.
Rather, the therapist is “the facilitator [who] assist[s] the client in uncovering their own truth and their own process,” Sumber said. “The only room for expertise is the therapists’ ability to reflect the client’s own truth back to them with as little of the therapist’s own baggage as possible,” he added.
4. Transpersonal psychology doesn’t judge others’ experiences.
Sumber said that transpersonal psychology also is based on the belief that the “client and the therapist both have their own experiences and neither is right, wrong, correct or incorrect, healthy or unhealthy.”
“If a client brings an experience into therapy that makes me uncomfortable, I have the ability to look at my own discomfort and work on it and I can even disclose it to the client if that is appropriate.”
5. Various well-known psychologists pioneered transpersonal psychology.
According to The Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, William James, Carl Jung and Abraham Maslow are just a few of the psychologists that played a role in pioneering transpersonal psychology. (Find out more about each psychologist here.)
In fact, William James was the first to use the term “transpersonal” in a 1905 lecture, according to The Textbook of Transpersonal Psychiatry and Psychology, and he’s referred to as the founder of modern transpersonal psychology and psychiatry. As psychologist Eugene Taylor, Ph.D, writes in the book:
He was the first to use the term transpersonal in an English-language context and the first to articulate a scientific study of consciousness within a framework of evolutionary biology. He experimented with psychoactive substances to observe their effects on his own consciousness and was a pioneer in founding the field that is now called parapsychology. He helped to cultivate modern interest in dissociated states, multiple personality, and theories of the subconscious. He explored the field of comparative religion and was probably the first American psychologist to establish relationships with or to influence a number of Asian meditation teachers. He also pioneered in writing about the psychology of mystical experience.
6. Transpersonal psychology emerged as a field in the late 1960s.
According to the article “Brief History of Transpersonal Psychology” written by one of transpersonal psychology’s founders, psychiatrist Stanislav Grof, in the International Journal of Transpersonal Studies:
In 1967, a small working group including Abraham Maslow, Anthony Sutich, Stanislav Grof, James Fadiman, Miles Vich, and Sonya Margulies met in Menlo Park, California, with the purpose of creating a new psychology that would honor the entire spectrum of human experience, including various non-ordinary states of consciousness. During these discussions, Maslow and Sutich accepted Grof’s suggestion and named the new discipline “transpersonal psychology.” This term replaced their own original name “transhumanistic,” or “reaching beyond humanistic concerns.” Soon after- wards, they launched the Association of Transpersonal Psychology (ATP), and started the Journal of Transpersonal Psychology. Several years later, in 1975, Robert Frager founded the (California) Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto, which has remained at the cutting edge of transpersonal education, research, and therapy for more than three decades. The International Transpersonal Association was launched in 1978 by myself, as its founding president, and Michael Murphy and Richard Price, founders of Esalen Institute.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Finding THE LOVE

I've had a post brewing in my head the last few days...actually a few of them. I've come across a few situations lately involving relationship problems...so this is where today's post will lead me.

It seems to me that at the core of every relationship problem is a disconnect in feeling connected. I truly believe that what we all want is to be loved, feel loved by another and want to be able to express that love. When that core has been shaken the entire relationship scaffolding begins to crack and separate.

What rocks the relationship foundation? How does that loving connection pull apart? It can be any number of things from feeling ignored by your loved one to losing that sense of trust in your partner’s feelings.

Hurt, betrayal, loss, anger, resentment…reactions to losing that connection…losing that “I have a loving partner and am loved” feeling.

Can you get it back? Will you ever be able to repair the relationship?

Yes…if both people want to make it happen. But, it will take some work.

Getting back to the basics of connection...what drew you together in the first place? What do you admire or respect about one another? If you can peel away the layers of relationship sabotage you may be able to find that link that once held you together…drew you together...and made you a couple by giving and receiving love.

Perhaps it’s time to bag the garbage and shovel off the emotions that no longer help to create a loving relationship.  Wallowing in faulty thoughts, reactive selves, and unloving emotions will only serve to break your foundation.

Change has to be made to get back to the core of the relationship and rediscover the love.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Your Partner's Reactivity isn't About You adapted from LaShelle Charde

Reactivity =  The tendency to be responsive or to react to a stimulus…also known as an emotional reaction.

LaShelle Charde addresses how reactivity in a relationship is a conditioned behavior that is based on past events. So, when you are “reacting” in the present situation you are also unconsciously basing your current emotions on a past event(s).  Sometimes your “deeply conditioned reactive patterns” have become so automatic  that you may not even remember the past experience they are based upon.

Thinking of how you may react in the heat of the moment…or your partner…it is highly likely that when your partner is  tapping into that reactivity nerve  -  he or she is basing emotion on a past event.  What’s difficult in the moment is to realize that your partner is reacting to the feelings of those past events and not really addressing “you.”

Now, when you do make it about you, typically you go into a reactive trance as well and start defending and/or accusing back.  This is when arguments escalate and past events are unearthed.

If you take a moment to reflect on what your partner is like when he or she is in reactivity, you probably know quite a bit.  You can likely name the tone & volume of voice, facial expressions, body language, and particular phrases that are signs of reactivity.  

The more you mindfully track these signs in your partner, the more likely you are to catch reactivity when it first arises.  The earlier reactivity is met, the easier it is to break the trance of it.

Bringing all this to mind now, you can practice gaining perspective of what's actually happening in those moments.  Which is, of course, that underneath your partner's reactivity, he or she is experiencing feelings like fear, hurt, or shame and has specific needs.  I'm guessing that if you take another moment right now, you can likely name which needs are connected to which reactive patterns (There is a feelings and needs list on  Charde’s website at www.wiseheartpdx.org).  They tend to be the same ones over and over again.

 Be careful here.  The purpose of learning about your partner's reactivity is not so that you can try to behave in such a way that she or he never reacts.  This is  this impossible and  creates a relationship that's more about avoiding and suppressing than coming together.  

The purpose of learning about your partner's reactivity is so that you can choose how you would like to respond rather than react. Think about those words…respond….and react....

 When you can meet your partner's reactivity in this grounded way, there are many choices you can make.  Here are a few that could be helpful:

*Set a Boundary:  If your partner is name-calling or using other language that doesn't meet your need for respect, it's helpful to set a boundary immediately by saying what you want.  For example, "I need respect, please say that differently."  If your partner doesn't respond to this, then you may set a further boundary by saying you will return at some specific time and then removing yourself physically from the environment.

 *Honest Expression:  You might express what's going on for you.  For example, "As I hear you right now I feel disconnected and I really want to connect.  Can we pause in silence and take a few deep breaths?"

 *Empathy Guess:  You can make an attempt to hear what's going on for your partner underneath the reactivity.  For example, "I'm hearing that when I told you how drive, it really didn't work for you."  Or  "Sounds like you're angry and hurt and want things to be fair?"

 *Offer Reassurance:  Because reactivity is based on a perceived threat, reassurance about what is actually true is almost always helpful.  This can be tricky, because you may try to offer reassurance by denying the accusations you are hearing.  You might hear yourself say something like, "I am not trying to control you!"  This very different from saying, "I really want you to choose what's right for you."

The important part here is that if you can recognize reactivity for what it is, you can keep yourself from expressing reactivity back and at the very best offer a healing response.  Take time now to think about a consistent reaction your partner has.  Name its signs and the feelings and needs you guess are underneath.  Decide how you will respond the next time it shows up.

 Here are some universal patterns and associated needs identified by Charde:
1.  Reactive Feeling & Pattern : Overwhelm, terror, shut down, dissociation, overanalyzing . Associated Needs:-  safety & belonging  

2.  Reactive Feeling & Pattern :  Hopelessness, sense of abandonment, disowning needs, not accepting help.  Associated Need:-  support

3.  Reactive Feeling & Pattern : Shame, humiliation, helplessness, rage, puffing up & getting tough or charming, persuading, and manipulating others.  Associated Needs :- acceptance of vulnerability

4.  Reactive Feeling & Pattern : Anger, resentment, passive resistance, refusing to commit, becoming immovable, having a sense of being in a hopeless bind.   Associated Need:-  autonomy

 5.  Reactive Feeling & Pattern: Anxiety, hurt, perception of being ignored or rejected, working hard to win love and attention through high drama, big sparkle, or great achievements.  Associated Needs:-  being seen/heard, and unconditional love.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The meaning of intuitive work by Transcendent Dancer

I loved this blog post and wanted to share...enjoy!

Today's thought on what intuitive work means to me


In helping others through energy work and intuitive readings I am provided with a point of concentration for Dharana and meditation on God in Dhyana. I devote time, open to the mystery and do so with gratitude. The individual receiving the work has heart-based focus upon them with an opportunity for concentration practice of their own, meditating on the experience.

Although I have an empathic sense I do not necessarily see auras or energy currents, at least not in the awesome ways others have described them. I trust master teachers when they say phenomena exists to keep our interest and matters little if at all.

More and more I understand the true meaning of these words: "do your work, then step back" as written in the Tao Teh Ching by Lao Tzu. As instructed in the Bhagavad Gita I am learning to release the fruit of action and to see devotional action as enough.

Five Dimensions of Touch

The Five Dimensions of Touch: The Key to Bypassing Sexual Power Struggles  By Barry McCarthy, Ph.D. “Are we going to have sex or not?” ...