Basic Relationship Advice

Basic Relationship Advice

Pick up any glossy magazine or browse  Google for an article on love and relationships and you’re bound to find a bevy of how-tos and what-to-dos. If you are currently in a relationship or are actively seeking one – here are some basic things to think about:

1. Understand the role of romantic relationships.

We are attracted to the opposite sex for varying reasons. Sometimes it’s the sound of his laughter, the soft beard that covers his dimples, his honesty, or the way he twirls you around the dance floor.

We may feel comfort, sexual attraction, and/or affection. However, the larger role of romantic relationships is to help us to grow into the best version of ourselves.

How do you feel about yourself when you are together?

Your relationship satisfaction and fulfillment is based on your authenticity, boundaries, and ability to recognize the amount of learning and personal growth you receive from the relationship.

2. There is no perfect person.

Wait! What?

Sorry to burst your glitter-filled bubble, but there is not perfect mate…only the perfect mate for you.

Build your relationship foundation on shared core qualities (trustworthiness, respect, unconditional love, passion, etc.) and work together to create your ideal relationship. Expect learning curves, growth and lots of learning.

3. Shelve the idea of Happily Ever After.

Thanks Hans Christian Andersen for the fairytale ending of finding the one perfect person to spend the rest of our lives with…a subconscious thought form imbedded at an early age.

Some relationships are meant for a lesson, a brief interlude, a decade of connection and some for a lifetime. Watch out for the trap of finding your ever-after-partner.

Appreciate what every relationship has to offer and fully commit to that person. Just be cautious when your mind leads you to the fairy tale castle of happy endings.

We can appreciate what the relationship has to offer us. We can even be committed to that person. The quality of an authentic romantic relationship does not need to be diminished because there is no projected future. Take your time and honor what the present moment has to offer you. However, be cautious when your mind starts selling you on the dream of a future and you begin to sell your partner on that idea.

L

Look within

When the night turns grey

and the moon begins her glow

howl at her beauty and

beckon the dawn of the new day

for it is within this rebirth that

you will discover all there

ever really is

lies within you

Life is too short....

Life is too short to deal with Asshats.

Asshats. 

I’m pretty sure you know one. I’m even pretty sure you’ve been one.

A-hole.

Ever met one who is described as selfish and is chronically inconsiderate?  How did you handle the A-hole? Just in case you’ve misplaced your Tips for Dealing with Asshats notepad I’ll offer some tidbits below:

1. Selfishness: Being selfish isn’t always a negative. After all, you do need to focus on your goals and take care of yourself. But there are those who are consistently inconsiderate of other people’s feelings and those who lack compassion. These are the Narcissistic A-holes. Their mantra is “me, me, me, me” and they aren’t switching tunes any time soon. You can try calling them on their behavior in hopes it will dull the egocentric selfish shine, but chances are you will end up with a matte finish of self-seeking narcissism.

2. Bulldozing: Asshats can be known for their bullying of others when they don’t get their own way. This type of A-hole is quick to criticize and shrugs off cooperative communication. There is nothing you can do to change them, but you will feel better if you stand up to them and disregard their intimidating comments.

3. Slothism: This lazy Asshat is a do nothing and will do nothing. Unmotivated, uncommitted, unwilling and unmoved. They don’t care and probably never will unless they are shown some tough love. This languid A-hole is late to work, contributes nothing and relies on others to pick up the slack. To deal with this type of Asshat document everything, call them on it and report them (at work).

Asshats present as both genders, races and socioeconomic classes. They are everywhere. They make the lives of those around them intolerable.

If you can’t manage them – leave them.

Life is far too short.

L 

You are dying

Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. ~Charles Richards

You are going to die.

We all are; though most of us spend our lives pretending that we will live forever.

Stop kicking happiness down the road.

Stop putting off that dream vacation.

Stop letting fear hold you back.

Just stop.

Regret is a much bigger monster to face than fear.

Tell someone you love him. Isn’t it a beautiful thing to be loved?

Eat the last bite of cake. Walk an extra 20 minutes to burn the calories if you must.

Train for an event you never think you’ll finish.

I have friends waiting to live.

I have clients with end-of-life timelines who realize that life is too short.

Embrace your now with intensity and purpose.

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older. ~Larry McMurtry, Some Can Whistle

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