Analyze This

                I have degrees in education, psychology and counseling….not that this listing in itself matters, only that I’ve been exposed to many, many tests over time.  One that I was recently reacquainted with is the Myers Briggs Personality Test. No doubt many have taken a Myers-Briggs Type Inventory (MBTI) over the years. If you are interested in identifying what a multiple-choice-type-test says your personal preferences are then it’s worth the time to gain some insight into your tendencies towards extroversion/introversion, thinking/feeling, intuition/sensing, and judging/perceiving.

                Admittedly I don’t remember my exact 4 letter personality type…but I do recall thinking, “REALLY?” I thought I was more feeling than thinking. If you’d like to take the online MBTI test for FREE here is a link.  This test is actually adapted from the Myers Briggs.

                So what got me started down this personal preference path was the discovery of Internet analyzers…I just can’t resist clicking links to find out what is thought about me…or my writing. There are actually a few blog analyzers out there that claim to identify your age, MBTI type, gender and blog reading level.

                

                This first one I tried was the blog type analyzer. This crafty site reveals  LifeCairns as INTP…meaning this blog is identified as “The logical and analytical type. They are especially attuned to difficult creative and intellectual challenges and always look for something more complex to dig into. They are great at finding subtle connections between things and imagine far-reaching implications.They enjoy working with complex things using a lot of concepts and imaginative models of reality. Since they are not very good at seeing and understanding the needs of other people, they might come across as arrogant, impatient and insensitive to people that need some time to understand what they are talking about.” Wow....not being seen as the typical, therapeutic, understanding, sensitive, and patient type is a bit of a shock. This has me thinking...maybe my writing voice really is a lot different than ME....something to work on...or maybe I really do come across as rather aloof...hmmmmm.

                        Next I checked the gender analyzer. Yep...it got me...71%  chance this blog is written by a woman. Interesting...a program out there to look at vocabulary and writing style to determine gender...hmmmm.

                      I just couldn't resist the age analyzer.  So, how old do you think I am? Well, the identified blogger age for LifeCairns is 51-65. No text Botox considered. I can tell you that this fun link was wrong. Ha.

                      As a former teacher...and reading specialist...I know the all important necessity for the written word to be accessible to everyone. The morning paper is said to be written on a 5th grade level. Okay, so I may have an old, female, insensitive writing voice...so on what reading level have I been writing? According to the reading level analyzer I am on par with a 6th grade reading level...like reading "Time or Newsweek."  I admit, I only read those magazines when the dentist is out of People or Us Weekly.

                  What is it about blog analyzers, Cosmo multiple-choice quizzes, and quick Internet tests that are so attractive? Is it the search for in depth soul discovery, fun reading, or an attempt to see how others see us? I would say a combination of all three. I've obviously indulged in the blog analyzer goody bag..it's been several years, but I do remember participating in a few "Are you Sassy and Sexy?" inventories, and, although I can say it doesn't matter what other people think of me...I'd still like to know.

Stress on Health

                Stress is a part of life. I know many who strive to experience stress-free lives…but sometimes stress seeks us out…and creeps up on us…like a few, unwanted extra pounds in the winter.

            According to Hales (2005) as cited in Corey and Corey (2006), “80% of all major physical illness” is due to stress (p. 151). Conversely, stress can result in emotional, intellectual and even spiritual exhaustion (Corey & Corey, 2006).  I believe that I have experienced moderate stress over the span of my life: little things like toys on the floor when an unexpected visitor drops by, or realizing that I left my wallet at home half way to work, or rushing to drop off two children at two different daycares on the way to work in the morning. I’m fairly self-regulating with healthy aamount of self-esteem and a light hold on personal control (Witmer & Sweeney, 2001).

            In an article by Witmer and Sweeney, the authors state that “those who…perceived life as manageable had less anxiety and few physical symptoms” (p. 142). Looking at the link between wellness and a holistic view of health, I would have to say that all the usual preventative stress mangers should keep stress from affecting the body to a great degree; realistically viewing stressful situations, tapping into self-control during stressful periods, maintaining exercise regimes, and practicing mindfulness are all excellent approaches to stress management.

            However, knowledge of stress reduction approaches, and implementation of those approaches is another matter.

Corey, G., & Corey, M.S. (2006). I never knew I had a choice: Explorations in personal growth. Belmont, CA: Thomson Higher Education.

Witmer, J.M., & Sweeney, T.J. (1992). A holistic model for wellness and prevention over the life span. Journal of Counseling & Development, 71(2), 140-148.

Vulnerability

        Learning from Shrek the all-important idea of Ogres being like onions in that they have many layers – the same can be said for humans.

        It appears that as soon as an individual is able to overcome a faulty thought or behavior pattern - that another layer reveals itself. Many may walk around oblivious, or in denial, about their layers of self-limiting thoughts and actions; however, those of us who are in a continuous state of growth and renewal may embrace our particular vulnerabilities and heal the past through affirmations, behavior changes, and alcohol …just kidding on the last one.

        An individual’s Achilles’ heel is one of those ignored or unrecognized weaknesses that allow the individual to experience repeated less-than-desired experiences in life…events or feelings that may cause undue angst and a mantra of “why me?”

        A familiar vulnerability is the common mother/daughter relationship; or the lack thereof. The endless seeking of loving acknowledgement of one’s accomplishments can become a life-long desire. The archetypal-evil-maternal-figure is unable to ever provide nurturing or acceptance of her daughter. The daughter’s Achilles’ heel is the never-ending desire for recognition and love.

        Recent research has focused on personality variables and treatment related issues; studies indicate that personality variables may impact psychotherapeutic treatment and outcomes (Beuttner as cited in Hewitt, Habke, Lee-Baggley, Sherry, & Flett, 2008).

       Truthfully, some people are incapable of giving, trusting, loving, or accepting…and that’s okay. The counselor is present to explain that we all have our vulnerabilities, and the recognition and acknowledgment of such allows us to peel back one more layer towards self-discovery.

Reference:

Hewitt, P.L., Habke, A.M., Lee-Baggley, D.L., Sherry, S.B., & Flett, G.L. (2008). The impact of perfectionistic self-presentation on the cognitive, affective, and physiological experience of a clinical interview. Psychiatry: Interpersonal & Biological Processes, 71(2), 93-122.

Bullies...how to deal with them

I've put together a workbook to use as a starting point for children’s knowledge about bullies & bullying.

If you suspect that your child has been bullied, engage him or her in the activities provided in the handbook. Knowledge & communication are vital in improving your child’s self-esteem and in emphasizing the importance of reporting problems related to bullying.

Here's the link....  Bullies

Change....but how?

  I'm often asked about change....how to do it...even in the face of seemingly overwhelming obstacles.

Well, first off, I can tell you, that most likely, it's not going to be easy. Whether you've been to a therapist in the past or not...anyone who has told you that it's EASY is simply not giving you the whole truth! Change hurts. Change is uncomfortable. Change can take time.

But it can be done!

Of course...the only person, and I mean the ONLY person you can change is YOURSELF! You have influence over your OWN situation but you will never be able to change anyone else. Please, save yourself the time thinking "but if...." because it's not going to happen. You may want a family member, boyfriend, girlfriend, child, boss....someone to change...and that's okay, just know that you aren't holding the magic wand to make it so.

Also, I don't have a magic wand either; I wish I did, but I don't.

Change happens first when you have a true desire to make it happen..no ambivalence here...you really are seeking to alter something in your life.

Next you you need to look at any faulty thoughts you've been carrying around that have hindered you from moving forward. By faulty thoughts I mean those self-talk, often deeply ingrained statements that simply aren't true about you: "I'll never amount to anything; No one could ever love me; I can't lose weight no matter how hard I try...." You get the idea.

Here's the transformation part....you address those faulty thoughts and look at them from a different point of view. Go from "No one could ever love me" to "I don't have anyone in my life right now to love."  Think "losing weight has been challenging" instead of "I can't lose weight."  I'm not asking you to create fairy tale statements...just look at your situation from a more objective, truthful point of view.

Next...set your thoughts to where you want to be...your goal statement, if you will.
"No one could ever love me" to "Right now I don't have a life partner" to "I'm going to put myself out there and look for someone that is right for me."
"I can't lose weight" to "loosing weight has been challenging" to "I'm going to exercise no less than 20 minutes each day and keep a food journal."

Change is an active process. It involves time, energy, and determination.

It can be done.

So, if you have some faulty thoughts floating around your mind and need some help reframing them...just send them to me and I'd be happy to help you look at your statements from a different perspective.

What a beautiful day!

Beautiful ...sunny....warm...a day to bask in the fresh air and express thanks for all the good things in life. Like attracts like. A day to appreciate all that you have....all that you've accomplished....and all that you are. Today no hiccups; no setbacks; no what-ifs.  Just today.

Here I am!

It's been a while now since I've been on the blog...been exploring with other media sources.
One new thing I'd like to start sharing is a daily angel message. More information to come!

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