It’s never easy when a significant relationship ends – whether you
wanted it or not. The breakup can turn your world upside down and trigger a
number of painful feelings and memories. Loneliness, fits of despair and
uncontrollable sobbing become an unwelcome blanket that surrounds your grief. You
may try to hide these feelings from your friends…or even bury them deep inside
yourself. The only problem is these uninvited emotions will pool; they’ll
collect deep inside of you until you’ve become physically ill or reached your
breaking point.
The only bandage I know of is the passing of time. I wish there was an
enchanted light-switch that could flip off your pain. Just realize that time does
help in the healing process and there are some things you can do to help get
through this difficult time. Hopefully, once you’re on the other side, you’ll
feel stronger, happier and healthier.
Coping and Healing
Why do breakups hurt so much? Because you’re heartbroken. Obviously
the relationship was no longer good for one or both of you. You’re aching
because you are grieving the end of, not just the relationship, but also the
dreams, companionship, excitement and hope for the future. When relationships
fail, there is the experience of profound grief, stress and frustration.
Everything is upturned…your routine, your circle of friends, and maybe even
your identity.
· * Remind yourself to be patient; you can and will move on.
· * It’s normal to feel angry, sad, confused and anxious. These feelings
will lessen with time.
· * Don’t go through this alone. Share your feelings and avoid isolating
yourself. Don’t be afraid to get help if you need it.
· * Exercise. I’m a huge advocate of endorphin release.
Above all, honor yourself. Recognize that you are going through a
difficult process and that you will be okay. Visualize how you want to feel
three months from now and take baby steps to get there.
